Honesty

To be honest, I always bite my tongue after posting such positive posts as yesterday's. I am VERY fatalistic and am pretty sure that the "fates" are a row of men and women in black robes ( a la Supreme court...or the movie 'Defending your Life' take your pick) sitting and waiting for the positive thoughts to be verbalized only to show me how wrong I am. (cue witch cackle) Well, today Jack was a bit more confused than yesterday. He thought certain people came to visit and that certain things had happened that didn't...I suppose that he is dreaming and he gets reality and the world of sleep confused. Regardless, it can feel like a bit of a blow. I do find thought that we need to measure things as weeks instead of days. As the days have a tendency to change at will...but if we look back at how a week was...well, it's easier to judge his progress. Tomorrow he may have to get a feeding tube in his tum-tum ( a 'peg') as he isn't eating enough to sustain his caloric needs. It may sound like a set back of sorts, but really we expected it. He has only been eating solid food for a short time (three days) and it's pretty unrealistic that after being on a feeding tube through his nose for 6 weeks, that he is going to be able to snarf his lunch like old times. Though, can I also say, for example, this morning, the hospital brought breakfast at 6:30am and no one helped to feed him. Mom got in at 8:00am and his breakfast was cold. He didn't want it. And we don't blame him. Plus, he is so weak, it's actually work to eat...so, it might be for the best. The only part we don't like is that it has to stay in a full month as that is how long it takes to heal. *sigh*

Seriously, guys, this is the hell that is ARDS. It's devastating. It's more than just the disease itself. It's everything that comes with it. If you know ANYONE who can benefit from this blog, PLEASE feel free to forward the addy. When you are dealing with this horrific experience, you feel as if you are so alone. If someone can gain some peace, or help from what we are going through. It would be a wonderful.

Love you all!